Entourage South Africa

I have come across an inside source which has informed me that Sabc is doing its own production of the popular series Entourage. They are using a local known Superstar and the series will be based on his Hollywood lifestyle. I am struggling to get the Pilot episode, so if you come across it, please mail me. I did however manage to get a poster from Sabc...Have a look..

--> In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons - Ha Ha! <--

So you think you are a professional raver?

This raving was inspired by our most recent poll, where half of you said that you were professional ravers just like us. Its all fine and well thinking that you are a professional like us, after all you need confidence in order to do what we do. But here is an example to show you just how quickly pro ravers can pounce!

Our raving starts like this:

It was a simple gtalk conversation between Todd and one of his friends called "Beaver". Now Beaver got all excited about something as you will see and decided that he was going to try and just be difficult and obnoxious for no reason. Have a look at the picture below and see how quickly Todd destroyed him! (Click on picture to enlarge it)



Do you think you could do what Todd did? Convince someone in a matter of moments that what they so adamantly believed was ridiculous and make them feel silly? Write to us if you think you can, because we would love to hear it!

Peter pan, LOL

--> In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons - Ha Ha! <--

The "chair-person"

Our raving starts like this and needs no further explanation:



--> In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons - Ha Ha! <--

The concept of having a "Gold" raving - By DJ Jayesh Mitha

I think that it’s very important that you are all made aware of this concept. When Gesh and Todd asked to me write about this, I thought it was very appropriate, since I was the one who introduced them to the idea of a “gold” raving.

Having “gold” means that you have come across some information that would devastate the person you have it on. It would be like knowing a deep dark secret that that person has. It’s the type of thing people would write in their diaries, or share with only close and trusted friends. It’s the type of thing that if everyone knew, would really ruin, embarrass and destroy their social interactions. For example, let’s say that I knew that someone lied about having a girlfriend, but everyone else believed.

What to do once you have got “gold”:

Never just use it! It must be saved for those really rare occasions when it would do the most damage. It is the type of thing that more often than not will never be mentioned by a professional raver. Why? Because we have the ability to draw on the situation for ravings and diss people in that fashion. We would never find ourselves in a place where we didn’t have a comeback. BUT for instances when this does happen, then you may use it.

Don’t share it with some, share it with all! In other words, don’t tell some of your friends what the “gold” is that you have. Keep it secret, as the less people that know about it, the more effective it will be when you use it. For example think of a crowd of 10 people, now imagine that 5 of them know the “gold” before you divulge it. Now imagine the type of reaction you would get from the crowd if only 2 people knew about!

I’m sure you all have heard of the comedian, Russell Peters? In one of his shows he talks about how some guy called him a f***en bl*wj*b! He goes on to say that “can you imagine being called a f***en bl*wj*w? Do you realise that if someone calls you that, there is no good comeback?!!” Well if he had “gold” on that person that would have been the comeback that he could have used.

To summarise, keep “gold” a secret. Do not share it with your friends. And don’t be drawn into using it when people diss your family or mom etc. Rise to the occasion and just know that one day when you do play it, it will devastate that person.

Regards – Jayesh Mitha

Big thanks to the Professional raving team of Gesh and Todd for letting me do this. Keep supporting this blog and if you want to know more about me check out www.jayeshmitha.co.za

** New - SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER **

Hey guys, we are so excited to inform that we will be introducing special guest blogger every month. This will be another chance for you to participate with professional ravings. These special guests will discuss concepts of raving, why they are important and how to deliver them. Or they could share their own personal experience with us. Either way it will be an informative discussion, with comical elements of course!

If you would like to be our special guest blogger, please send your request and proposed topic to proravings@gmail.com. We should point out that you need not have submitted a raving previously to be our special guest blogger.

Our special guest bloggers for 2008:

1) DJ Jayesh Mitha – He will be discussing the concept of a “gold” raving. (October)
2) Kyle Walker - Still waiting for confirmation from this person of their topic. (November)
3) David Ambler – Topic to be confirmed later. (December)

Get ready, our first special guest – DJ Jayesh Mitha – his post will be up on Tuesday!

In the meantime, don’t forget to submit your ravings to proravings@gmail.com, we would love to hear them!

When there’s something strange in your neighbourhood…

Big thanks to SOLDIERBOI for this raving! First the impaled imbecile and now this, keep up the ravings! – Gesh

The year 2004… I had just finished varsity the previous year, which meant this was the first year for my friends and I in the “real world”. Let me introduce my friends Mr. Bengal and Mr. “Half this, half that”. Mr. Bengal is a small thin, and chilled out dude. Mr. “Half this, half that” is an emo (google that definition if you like) and a self proclaimed player.

We arrived in on Friday morning, where we met up with Mr.”Half this, half that”. He chauffeured us to his flat, where we were staying. Upon arrival, we met his first flat mate – Mrs. D. a super girl, who later that evening taught us a really hilarious song about Diarrhoea (please don’t ask). So there we were, Mr. Bengal, Mr., “Half this, half that” and I, chilling on this Friday afternoon in Jozi:

Our raving starts like this:

Mr.” Half this, half that” stayed with Mrs. D, her brother and his fiancé, whom we had not met yet and that particular night Mrs. D, has brought her friend home from the club as well, so we had a packed house approximately seven people! Mr. Bengal and I were going to shack in the lounge on an inflatable bed for the evening, which we did, and did peacefully until around 5:30 am …

When out of nowhere, Mr. Bengal, unleashed an unearthly scream…. something along the lines of those T-Rex roaring sounds you hear in movies … something reminiscent of The Exorcist. Can you just imagine, hearing this horrific scream in the middle of the night, when the rest of the house is dead quiet. It sounded like someone was being attacked, by their worst nightmare!

Anyway Mrs. D's brother tried to be the hero, after hearing the screams from hell he leapt out of bed, only to slip and fall and fracture his coccyx! Now you have to feel for the guy, but honestly can you just picture someone running down the hall and slipping on a banana peel? Because that’s really what it looked like. He immediately got up as if to pretend like nothing happened and that he was ok. What followed next is something you only see in comedy movies. Honest to god, he then ran straight into the bedroom door and back down again! I was trying to contain myself, so I put my face in the pillow and just began to laugh as hard as I could, while trying to remain as quiet as I could.

By now Mrs. D and friend, who were terrified firstly from the ghastly sounds of underworld and the secondly from acrobatic acts of her brother, had woken up.

Mr. ”Half this, half that”, eventually woke up and ran to the lounge to find Mr. Bengal and I peacefully asleep, completely unaware of the past five minutes commotion. Mrs. D's brother abruptly woke Mr. Bengal and asked he was ok. Mr. Bengal woke up in a haze and wondered why there were five people staring over him. He sincerely claimed he didn’t know a thing about what they were talking about! I mean honestly people, how can you let out such a loud scream and not know anything about it? Please if this has happened to you or someone you know, write to proravings@gmail.com and tell them about it.

The whole time I was asleep next to Mr. Bengal, and just killing myself at the commotion his screams had created.

To conclude, Mrs.' D's friend immediately left, as she was convinced that there was some satanic stuff going on. Mr. “Half this, half that” tells me she has never slept over ever again. Mrs. D's brother made a full recovery, although he says he cannot forget that frightening, spine tingling howl! And finally Mr. Bengal, to this day, claims he does not remember what possessed him to shriek the way he did. And thinks that we made the whole story up.

-->In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons – Ha Ha<--

PS – We at proravings would like to hear the Diarrhoea song please!

Food for thought - (If you are a rabbit)

When you live in the city, it’s not often that you are graced with the presence of animals running wild. In most cases you see the odd squirrel, or lizard. At our offices the one day I saw a rabbit. Naturally I thought perhaps it escaped from captivity, but otherwise I thought nothing else of it.

Our raving starts like this:

To my surprise most people in the office had seen the rabbit, as it had been a regular visitor on our grounds for the past week. Anyway one day BananaNippleLover came to the office with a carrot. Curious as to why she brought it, I asked her what’s with the carrot. She indicated that it was to feed the rabbit. Everyone in the office burst out laughing. But that’s not the end of our raving, it gets worse.

Later on that day another office colleague who does not sit in the general office, saw her walking with the carrot again. Once again he asked what was the carrot for?
BananaNippleLover: It’s for the rabbit
Co-worker: You know it is a common misconception that rabbits like carrots, they prefer leafy vegetables!

Her next response is the whole reason we started this blog. Its to point out and make fun of those imbeciles who have no idea about the real world and are just completely oblivious in their small worlds.

Co-worker: You know it is a common misconception that rabbits like carrots, they prefer leafy vegetables!
BananaNippleLover: But Bugs Bunny eats carrots!

Oh my god! How silly can you possibly be? Since when did anything in cartoons relate to reality? So does she believe that a coyote always chases a road runner ? Or that the Tasmanian devil spins around in a vicious cyclone manner whenever it moves around?

Do you think that if they had made bugs bunny eat bananas, that she would believe that’s what rabbits like to eat?

Anyway the whole office again crashed themselves laughing, she brought a carrot because bugs bunny eats carrots!

--> In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons – Ha Ha <--