Why not to play soccer with short people

Soccer is probably the most popular sport in the world. But according to our experience it isn't always the safest; especially when vicious and malicious tackles are made. If you've seen these on TV then you will know that some players deserve an Academy Award for their displays of pain.

Our raving begins like this:

It was a normal sunny day. This usually called for a sporting event in someone's backyard. We played anything from cricket, soccer, basketball and even American football. One of these days, a vertically challenged guy, let's call him Midge, from down the road, invited himself to one of the soccer games. Just think of a kangaroo, this dude is just like one. He always wore this one pair of funny moccasins.

Then there's Hasmook. Another vertically challenged friend, who was born with a mustache (but that’s another raving for another time). The game started and the guys were sweating after like five minutes. While some of us took a rest, Midge and Hasmook confronted each other in a dribble, and in a split second Hasmook fell to the ground …. and as usual the game carried on.

Hasmook started screaming! Cries of "Get up you moron" were shouted. It was only till Hasmook started crying that the guys actually stopped to see what the matter was. He was murmuring something about his right leg. To everyone’s surprise, we found out that Midge had kicked Hasmook’s kneecap off!!

When the other guys came back they saw Hasmook on the floor and asked if he was okay, while he was in tears and screaming. After a while, Hasmook’s parents arrived and straight away his mother asked: "Hasmook! What happened??" Now being one of the guys, you'd think that he would handle it like a man, without hesitation he says: "Midge kicked me!"

The neighbour from next door was called who happened to be a doctor. He came and tried to physically push the kneecap back into place. Hasmook screamed like a girl once again. Once he was loaded into the car, the doctor did not notice his shoe still sticking out. The guys held back their laughter as the doctor started banged the door against his foot, as he tried to close the door!!

Eventually we found out that Hasmook was dribbling the ball, Midge came in to make a challenge and somehow managed to kick his kneecap. Now how short do you have to be to have a simple dribbling challenge turn into a medical emergency? I mean even if Hasmook was wearing shin guards, they still would not have helped. Moral of the story? Don't play soccer with midgets, because you might just kick their kneecaps out!!

Furthermore, how did the doctor slam the door on his foot afterwards? That’s like two ravings for the price of one!

--> In the words of Nelson from the Simpsons – Ha Ha <--